Trapper Song

I can catch a helpless animal, Skin it with my bare hands. I wake up muddy, And I go to bed bloody, ’Cause I’m a trappin’ man. I can brave the nastiest weather. Weather! Even if it’s 80 below. Below! My pa was an elephant, but that’s irrelevant. My ma was an Eskimo. I eat rabbits’ heads for breakfast. Breakfast! With beaver butt on the side. The side! My mind’s magnificent and my body no different. I’m full of trapper pride! Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Rip their fur, cut their skin with my knife. Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho! One thing’s for sure, there’s nothing like a trappin’ life! I’m badder than the baddest sailor! Sailor! I make love to women to 10 feet tall. Good lord! I’ve got a chest of wonder and balls of thunder. I can break right through a wall. I love the sound of metal, Metal! Snapping on an animal’s head. Ka-chink! Sometimes they scamper Sometimes they whimper But they always end up dead. (Interlude by Nutter) I’ve always wanted to be somebody Who didn’t get pushed around. Now that I’m a trapper, I’m the meanest guy around. (Frenchy interrupts) Second meanest! The blood of a fresh-cut rodent Is as sweet as brandy wine. And the brain of an antelope Tastes like cantaloupe. What a yummy life! Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Rip their fur, cut their eyes out with my knife. Yo-ho! Yo-ho! Yo-ho!